Thursday, 24 October 2013

I am imperfect but I am good hearted

I'm not really a huge fan of this kind of post but now and again I need to put something out there that not only reminds me but anyone else that is feeling down and beaten. This blog is real, I am real, what you see is what you get but that doesn't mean I don't improve or learn, I'm always getting better, failing, getting better again and on it goes. Sometimes though one person can do so much damage with lies that you have to react in the appropriate way.

We each have good points and bad points. Far too often we spend time thinking of our bad points, things we can't do or talents we don't have etc. I want to do the opposite, and if that makes me sound conceited then I'll take it. People are so much better than they give themselves credit for. Even the mean people have good points, I wish I could get them to see that they chosen method of speaking/acting hurts them as much as the person they are trying to hurt or in some cases the person they're trying to hurt isn't hurtable for one reason or another.

You see, I've been bullied for a few months now by a couple of people who were friends. No matter what I do they are on my case and even dragged other people into it. What started off as a misunderstanding ended up being rather serious. When I stopped reacting they moved on to another method: spreading untruths, gossiping and other things. Again I can ignore it, I don't worry what everyone thinks, just those that matter to me. This situation has now escalated to legal proceedings so I can't speak anymore of it now.

But what I do want to talk about is how words affect someone.

Yes you have the right to freedom of speech but it does not include speaking of another person, publicly airing opinions, sharing their personal information and/or invading their privacy whether true or false and it does not include speech that damages a persons safe being, mental/emotional welfare or causes them to feel intimidated.

You are responsible for your words and actions whether you want to be or not.

I have had my share of moans and groans, I can be opinionated and I can be defensive when I feel under attack but I have a limit. For me to exceed that limit something really has to push me over the top but I still take responsibility. I have no choice if I am silly enough to explode then I have to take the consequences and step up.

Thankfully I don't often explode.

I have had a way of doing things for years now, sometimes I fail but I soon put it right, that is if I speak of someone else then I make sure its something nice about them. If someone around me is dissing someone I'll still add in a nice comment in the hope they will realise they are being quite mean and unnecessarily judgemental. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

Words are a great thing to have at our disposal when you think about it. By spending time thinking of them any kind of frustration can be put across and doesn't need to be negative but when self control is lost based on pride, arrogance and selfishness then words are their weapon of mass destruction. I pray for those people because they are obviously struggling so much. My own loss of self control has had me praying for better control, a calmer thinking and a wider view on the situation. I'm blessed that I have and use that privilege which never lets me down.

I love words, positive words, silly words, new words and just plain ole basic words, because you can engage in conversations and debates about anything, words only become dangerous when people don't use them well.

This blog has seen some pretty frustrated feelings this week but its my blog, my stats show people are reading and I want to keep it real. I am not hiding who I am, my faults, my weaknesses or my sometimes negativeness, I am being me. I get angry, frustrated and hurt, I also laugh more than I cry, I have opinions that do not suit my fellow Lds people and I do not fit into a category that makes me acceptable in all places but I know when to shut up! (Honest! Lol) I really have no issue with that because as Gordon B Hinckley once said, we all have to stand for something. Thats not to say I don't get frustrated and hurt by certain people, it just means that when I put it out there I expect to be allowed to speak openly and not be cast aside. Those that don't agree are welcome to in a respectful way, but it's never my intention to offend anyone, if it is then they'd know about it and at some point I'd have to correct it. Right now I'm standing for what I believe in, Me. Right or wrong I'll either learn and correct or I'll continue to stand alone but one thing is for sure....

I am me, I stand for a lot of good things that my friends chose me for. I am a dreamer, I am a fixer, I am a strong person and I am more good and unselfish than not. My heart is bigger than my brain and if I can't help you I certainly won't go out to hurt/harm you. I can also be insecure, self doubting, insecure and put myself down. I have had things happen to me that most people won't have in a lifetime. A previous church leader once said to me 'Good grief, you've had three lifetimes in one, why aren't you insane?' Simple answer is: I choose to not be. I choose to try my hardest to be the person God intended me to be. I do not feel sorry for myself, I see my life as a lesson, a way to help and hopefully support others that have experienced what I have. It's all happened for a reason. I also believe that one day God will put it all right so I have to trust Him.

One day we'll all be judged exactly how we judge others....and God have mercy on some around me!

A word to the wise? If someone has offended you have the respect for them to tell them why/how, do not make it an issue that it affects them more than it should because after all we all choose to be offended and to offend. Do the right thing, be honest, open and respectable, stand for what you believe in but do it respectfully and have an open mind.

Disagree with me? Agree with me? Want to share your opinion? I'd love to hear from you!

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