Sunday, 17 October 2010

Why do you do it to yourself?

Get life going so much that you end up burning out. Why?

It’s a harsh world out there, we have mortgages to pay, cars to maintain, children to care for and a whole other range of things but let me tell you something…

It is more in your control than you think.

Shocking? Shocked that I’ve just simplified life as a mother/partner/friend and all other titles we have?

You’ll live. I promise.

And deep down you know I am right.

I used to blame living in a city on how crazy my life was. I dreamed of living in the country to have the slower pace, the nature all around me. I believed once I had all that my life would be idyllic.


It' doesn’t work like that. We do.

In my time out I had many conversations with so many different people from all walks of life, one in particular, with a local radio show host (more on that soon as its related to The British Homemaker) and off air we talked about how he felt relaxed and inspired talking to me. He proceeded to ask me the secret.

But there isn’t one.

I simply took back control of my life.

I stopped.

I quit hammering myself with the business, the website, the sponsors, the whole lot. I simply emailed everyone and declared a break from it all with the promise of a more productive and inspired me in due course.

This earned me 4 definite sponsors who replied with these comments:

#1 ~

Good morning Debbie

I must say, I am rather taken aback that you have been so up front with your need to take time for yourself. However it is a welcome read to see that you are a lady of self worth and integrity that allows that to define you in business too.

I am happy to go ahead with the proposed sponsorship agreement we have discussed, I trust it will be effective up on your return, which I will await to hear.

Good luck in your down time and thank you for showing the real side to you that business often shuns.


{This is from a company called….Sew Hip, a best selling sewing magazine!}

#2 ~

Hey Debs, are you going on holiday or just taking time out? Either way thanks for being up front with me and for actually be a real person!! I wish I could find what you seem to have to be so brave, maybe you can write me an article on it?

Ellen and I have agreed that we are more than happy to accept the advertising deal you have suggested, please drop us an email when you are back with us.

Wow, I am stoked that you are taking this step in your life with such honesty and comfort, especially as I know you are a single working mom. We hope you have a great time and look forward to hearing from you in due course.


{This is from a company called…Lakeland!}

#3 ~


I hope your down time is all you hope and need it to be. Both Ross and I are grateful for your honesty and ability to know your limit and be prepared to stand up for it. For us it gives us confidence in doing business with you so when you return back to us, we will get the paperwork dealt with and look forward to a long and successful working relationship with you.


{This is from a company called…TNT

#4 ~

Hi Debs

Well that was a bit of a surprise! Refreshing to hear that you are a lady of strength and clarity, something many of us need or at least I do. I must pick your brains on what took you to this point but for now I wish you and your family well, I hope you have some wonderful down time and you come back as refreshed as you hope to be.

The advertising we discussed can wait, it’s rather warming to find a business that is honest and not killing itself to deliver for the sake of monetary gain. You are a person of worth, but then I’ve told you that before.

David will call you next week, he’s away till Wednesday in Holland but I know he has a suggestion for you, something to do with radio work. Oops, cant say no more!

{This is from a company called…The White Company}

So you see, if big companies can see the effectiveness of us being real, honest and up front then why cant we?

Ok there is a few differences here that may come into effect.

  1. I don’t have a mortgage. But I do pay a large part of my rent myself.
  2. My utility bills are higher because I live in a larger house.
  3. We have a blessed lifestyle because I have worked hard for everything I have since my divorce.
  4. I am single but that is not a gripe, it is just a fact of life.
  5. I do not buy brand new cars (though I almost did last year!!)
  6. I live frugally because I do not ever want to feel that life controls me.
  7. I do not need to have lots of holidays or shopping sprees to pack my already full home.

Everyone’s life and commitments are different. However, there is one simple fact that is so often over looked that it actually drags us down subconsciously when we don’t remember it:

If it wasn’t us doing it, someone else would be.

So what if we lose £’s of work in a week. Ok so it could be a big deal, but let me tell you, if the bills are paid, the kids are fed and the roof over your head is sorted then why are you stressing over material extras in life?

On the flip side, there are many people who already have the kind of commitments that require them to work, we all have different commitments and different tolerance levels, however, I’m not saying stop working, I’m simply saying:

Get out of the rat race

Take time out from things that allow you do that, if you can delegate, do it. If you have assistants, utilise them, if you have family, ask them, if you have friends, borrow them.

Just for a week.

Or two.

Because one thing I can guarantee is that when you go back you will be energised, inspired and have a clarity that takes you further than if you just battle through it.

Life not about having this or that, its not about making do or holidays abroad. It’s not even about latest fashions, nice homes or big bank balances.

Heck, if I die right now none of that will even matter. Heavenly Father couldn’t care less what I am wearing so long as I am modest, he doesn’t care less if I work or not, so long as I’m productive, he doesn’t care how much money I have, so long as I earn it honestly. He doesn’t care if I live in a shack or a mansion. None of it will matter when it comes to my day of reckoning.

But I do get extra for recognising what makes my heart, body, mind and spirit destructive then working to recover it.

So give yourself a break.

You deserve it.



Post a Comment